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Age: so depressed.

What do we enjoy about getting older, what's beautiful about aging, what am I doing now that I couldn't do when I was younger, what dreams am I accomplishing, how to deal with aging constructively, and much more...

Age: so depressed.

Postby geminio » Wed Jun 13, 2007 11:38 pm

Hi everyone.

My name is Dianne, geminio is my screen name.

I just turned 46 on June 6th.

I've been getting restylane injections and they seem to help with my flat face. I have not been working too much lately and can't afford to get my touch up injections tomorrow.

I am just so upset about ageing.

I was very happy with the way that I looked up until about age 42, when my skin starting sagging and I started getting restylane. I tried 2 sessions of thermage, but did not do too much.

I paid 9,000 to have under eye bags removed, but now need more agressive measures.

I went to Dr. Abergel and since I am a former patient of his, he gave me a great deal on liposculpture and a minimally invasive face lift.

It is still al lot for me because I am a school teacher and now I just substitute 3 days per week.

Another thing that makes me mad is that I have very fair skin, which tends to have less oil , making it more suseptible to sagging. My face is not even wrinkled, just very saggy. When I pull it up, I look like I'm 30.


People with darker skin seem to age better.

Oh well, I got some feelings out.

To top it off, I've stayed in a so so marriage for 20 years...only myself to blame.

Would never go out and meet anyone with the way that I fell that I look.

How can I become one of those people who does not care about what I look like?

Thanks for listening
Dianne[/b]
geminio
 
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Postby OliveGage » Fri Jun 15, 2007 5:54 am

Diane, you should enjoy the way you look! Gosh, you need a day at the mall. I don't know anyone who doesn't look good when they dress up and smile. I joined a dance class at a gym that really put me on a healthy track.

You have to really exercise and watch what you eat to enjoy aging. Also consider perimenopause, it ruins your weight, shape and attitude. You won't get lasting result from minimally invasive procedures if you're white. I guess the saying is "Black don't crack", the rest of us have to make the best of what we have. Make sure you are active and around people who are physically active. Join a bike club and be sure to hang out with people who have similar issues. I felt better about aging when I started looking at older women than myself, who looked good. We all need a mentor 8)
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Postby 4evryoung » Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:12 am

Gemino,

I would suggest you join a exercise club, gym, or some type of activity. That will not make you young, but I really believe it can ward off depression, stying active, moving yourself. Whatever you think you would enjoy doing, begin doing it now. Your depression can rear its ugly head from your looks but other things could also be going on in your life from what you say. Begin by taking care of you, change your hair style or color. You are who you are and you need accept the aging process. We cannot change it, we can only accept it. I just turned 58. Think about that one!! I am thankful for the years I have!! I have seen in the course of my life, people who have to lived as long as I have. Be thankful for each day and count it as a blessing!!!
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Postby geminio » Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:16 pm

OliveGage wrote:Diane, you should enjoy the way you look! Gosh, you need a day at the mall.



I don't know anyone who doesn't look good when they dress up and smile. I joined a dance class at a gym that really put me on a healthy track.

You have to really exercise and watch what you eat to enjoy aging. Also consider perimenopause, it ruins your weight, shape and attitude. You won't get lasting result from minimally invasive procedures if you're white. I guess the saying is "Black don't crack", the rest of us have to make the best of what we have. Make sure you are active and around people who are physically active. Join a bike club and be sure to hang out with people who have similar issues. I felt better about aging when I started looking at older women than myself, who looked good. We all need a mentor 8)



Hi, thanks for answering back.
Funny you should make that comment about a day at the mall. I did that on Monday, I just have trouble making decisions on pants because it seem one day the fit and one day they don't. I prefer pants that have elastic around the waist without a zipper. I found a couple of nice ones in maturnity....lol but they are still kinda strange to wear.

Then, if I shop in the section in say, Sears the elastic pant waist gives not shape to your body. :(

My gosh. To top it off I'm 5 8 and weigh 130, but carry my weight in lower part of body.....buy right clothes would look good can't find nice pants.....any store suggestions, or name brands???


Yes, I am white and am considering an expensive liposculpture procedure.
So you don't think by removing some fat from the lower part of my body will be good at this point???

You don't think liposculpture will reshape problem areas?

I know what you mean....darker skin ages better. I am very fair and my face skin is droopy. I hate it. I use to be pretty. Always had a bigger lower body half though.
geminio
 
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58 you...no

Postby geminio » Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:23 pm

4evryoung wrote:Gemino,

I would suggest you join a exercise club, gym, or some type of activity. That will not make you young, but I really believe it can ward off depression, stying active, moving yourself. Whatever you think you would enjoy doing, begin doing it now. Your depression can rear its ugly head from your looks but other things could also be going on in your life from what you say. Begin by taking care of you, change your hair style or color. You are who you are and you need accept the aging process. We cannot change it, we can only accept it. I just turned 58. Think about that one!! I am thankful for the years I have!! I have seen in the course of my life, people who have to lived as long as I have. Be thankful for each day and count it as a blessing!!!



Have you had anything done to your face because you look great!!!
You know I am active, but I'm not a member of a club.
Believe it or not, I stepped in a whole at work in Jan. Hurt lower back.
I thought it would be of by now. It's not and I should have reported it.
I'm a teacher, elementary, and if I report it, I won't be able to work.
I'm 46 and substitute teach 3 days per week. Was a full time teacher.
Taking Lexapro for depression, anxiety and menopause.

Any feedback
Thank you so much.
I'm so glad that I say this board.
It was a good idea who ever thought of it.
Oh, and my vision is getting bad with age.....age....age....age....I hate it...worse for women....
geminio
 
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Postby 4evryoung » Sat Jun 16, 2007 7:12 am

Gemino,

You certainly do not have any weight issues. 5'8 and 130!! WOW that is great!!! I just meant about the exercising releasing seritonin (sp) and helping with depression. I do believe it helps with depression but depending on the issues, meds are certainly needed at times as well.

I had a lower bleph and fat transfers many years ago. I have had some laser work for red veins. Thanks for the comliment. I am due more "work" on the face for sure. I could use work on the body as well. Ah heck, If I could afford it I would have it all done from stem to stern. Take care.
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Hi Again.....I hope I look like you at 58....man.....hard to

Postby geminio » Sat Jun 16, 2007 10:17 am

4evryoung wrote:Gemino,

You certainly do not have any weight issues. 5'8 and 130!! WOW that is great!!! I just meant about the exercising releasing seritonin (sp) and helping with depression. I do believe it helps with depression but depending on the issues, meds are certainly needed at times as well.

I had a lower bleph and fat transfers many years ago. I have had some laser work for red veins. Thanks for the comliment. I am due more "work" on the face for sure. I could use work on the body as well. Ah heck, If I could afford it I would have it all done from stem to stern. Take care.



Thank you so much for writing back to me again.

You know another thing with this ageing, my mind is not as sharp.

I just read my last email, that I stepped in a hole and I put the wrong kind of hole (I put whole).

Can you imagine that I taught full time for 16 years and never made silly mistakes like that.....what in the world.....You must think I am a stuptid elementary teacher..... :(

I just feel ugly and stuptid.

I'm on my way right now for my 3rd consultation about having a lipoSCULPTURE procedure done to, yes, lower part of body.....Also that minimally invasive face lift.

I will give you details tonight.

I am rushing, so if I have misspelled words....that's why....

I don't know....got all "A" in school, I'm like different person.

I am like you, was very pretty. We still look good though.

Sincerely,
Dianne
geminio
 
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Postby 4evryoung » Sat Jun 16, 2007 10:57 am

Germino,

You are WAY to rough on yourself!!! Way to rough!! You see I wasn't thinking anything about it at all. (the whole versus hole) Not at all. Keep in touch about the lipo. Good luck with your visits.
4evryoung
 
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Got back from 3rd consultation....

Postby geminio » Sat Jun 16, 2007 2:22 pm

4evryoung wrote:Germino,

You are WAY to rough on yourself!!! Way to rough!! You see I wasn't thinking anything about it at all. (the whole versus hole) Not at all. Keep in touch about the lipo. Good luck with your visits.



Well, I just got back from my 3rd consultation with the doctor.
I decided to have a minimally invasive mini lift. I am also having some LipoSCULPTURE on my thighs, hips and he wants to do inside knee.
My only concern is that fat might go to different areas of my body, like my abdomen and waist. I am starting to gain in my abdomen and getting a thicker waist due to menopause......but it is way too expensive to have all those areas done. maybe if I force myself to do situps....or those ab crunch things.

I don't know I will see how it turns out.

By the way, I may have asked you this already....what state do you live in?

I live in Southern Ca.
geminio
 
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Postby 4evryoung » Sat Jun 16, 2007 3:04 pm

Well that sounds promising. Yes after menopause the waist line for sure increases. It is very bad for myself. I would like to have lipo also.

I was raised in San Diego. That was my home when I was young. I moved to the East Coast when I was about 27. I live outside of Philiadelphia about 40 minutes. (Pa.)
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Postby looking_good » Sun Jun 17, 2007 10:36 am

Dianne
You are too hard on yourself. I think that it's difficult to be aging and living in Southern California. So much of the culture focuses on how you look and being young (or seeming young). It's true everywhere, but worse in CA, I think.

I've accepted that I can't compare myself to 30 year olds or even to myself when I was 30. That doesn't mean that I'm not willing to help make the most of what I have with a little botox and restylane. I'm just trying to keep my expectations realistic. The work you're contemplating will turn out so much better if you go in realistically.

Do you have women your age that you can share with?
I decided that I needed girl friends my age and have begun renewing old friendships. It's been wonderful. I recently turned 50 and as I catch up with old friends we forge new bonds so easily... comiserating about hotflashes or bad first marriages, rejoicing over children who are now successful and on their own (even a little). It's helped a lot to share with women who are in the same place emotionally.

Focus on the future and the good things it can bring. Forget the sags and lines. Live every day. Each one is a gift.
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2-12-07 Lipo: 2500 cc u/l abs, waist, hips
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Postby OliveGage » Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:23 am

Diane, I'm considering a tummy tuck myself. Actually I've thought about it for years. So I started following the tummytuck forum to understand the procedure, limitation and expectations. After I have a tummy tuck I want to have a facelift. Of coarse this all hinges on whether it is financially practical. I am 5'5" and 157, with a 31 inch waistline. I use to have a 26 inch waistline.

Vitoria Secrets has pretty clothes. Yes I grabbed a handful of tummy flab and asked my husband if it helped him pee if he held up his tummy. Then he thought it would be ok if I investigated the tummy tuck. Until then emphasize the positive. Marilyn Monroe actually had big hips and a small bustline. Look at Tinkerbell (drawn after MM). Dolly Parton covered her pregnacy with a good bra. Earring and a plunging neckline go a long way in moving the eye from the belly.

Be really careful on minimally invasive procedures. Often they are as invasive as the full procedure and very short term in results. Post at the facelift forum. Also look at the doctors forums, Dr Naderi and Dr Mani both have very firm opinions on good procedure. It can save you suffering and a bundle of money. The tummy thing can be tough too, but at least you can wear a shirt over that. I also would also space these procedures one year apart minimum.

Most important, go to a gym when there are women your own age there. What makes women look good face to face is not the same as a photograph. Women at the gym who are my age may have a smooth neckline but their posture and dress say leave me alone. I should talk because I never actually talk to anyone at the gym :oops: , too shy.

Also consider perimenopause. The 40's are a rough time for women and hormones. You shouldn't let hormones make decisions for you. Make a surgery decision when you are feeling good about yourself and only those you have research well. Try a skin peel, hair cut, and clothes that make you feel good... then think about how valuable surgery is.

I went to a cosmetic show at our mall, which was cool because all the women were middle age. It made me feel like I was 16. The basic problem with beauty is it's kind of boring all by itself... Tinkerbell is a cultural high note. Real beauty involves a love of life. Balance everything you do cosmetically with something you love.
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Re: Age: so depressed.

Postby javajavagirl » Wed Aug 31, 2011 8:02 pm

All the above answers are good. A dance class is always a pick-me up. Can't hurt to get out there and excercise. And, consider yourself fortunate you have a 20 year marriage. Try being single at age 54. The grass isn't greener on the other side. I'm from SoCal - yet now in a different State, and both states have far more single women out there than guys.

As for your looks - you are so lucky to be thin, because it's better for your health. It is true Marilyn Monroe didn't have large boobs - she wore padded bras; at the Hollywood History Museum there pics of her close up sans clothing. She knew how to carry herself.

Take care of your skin and wear makeup - you will feel better. I agree with the other posts too ; go to the mall, or out for lunch with a friend, just stay busy, read, learn, do, stay active. You will forget about your looks. I myself dislike wearing makeup, but I look better wearing it - even pink lipstick is a pick me up. I like natural, but when I do my hair and makeup I look like a different person; of course not like I did in my twenties, but my philosophy is this: If you are lucky, you will grow old. (think of those who didn't make it to 40) and smile - you have allot to look forward to - your 50th Birthday! :D
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Re: Age: so depressed.

Postby maplegroove » Fri Jun 27, 2014 5:12 pm

Take pride in how you look. I know that now I have more confidence in how I look then when I was in my 20s. I think that as I age, I am getting better looking.
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