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Second reduction upcoming...l hope.

Second reduction upcoming...l hope.

Postby KattenyaJen » Thu Feb 04, 2016 10:17 pm

Well. It's been a while since I last logged in. (as you can probably tell by my tracker in my signature)

Tomorrow I'm off to try and get another referral to have the girls chopped off. Again. Pretty nervous actually. They grew back pretty quickly (I've been sitting at a 34JJ again for a few years now) but between the fact after surgery I found out pain meds don't work, then had to get all 4 wisdom teeth out, then had my appendix rupture, tendinitis get bad enough to have a career shift, and my dad dying two years ago... well. It's been a hard decision to make and a rough few years.

Worried they will say I'm too fat to get one again until I prove, again, that it's not weight based. (I mean, last time I was fitting a size 8 and still had to loose 15 lbs until they would do it. I am currently a size 14-16 since it's easier to deal with the girls when they look more proportionate. And greif. Greif will do that to you.) Last time, they actually gave the diagnosis its not weight related, but different doctors and such.

Worried it will hurt as much as the last time, and that again pain meds wont work.
Worried the hubby-to-be, though supportive, will find that he actually doesn't end up being attracted to me anymore. (my worry, not his)
Worried it will take so long to get that I lose my nerve.

But... The back spasms have started again. I can't fit professional looking clothing which is holding me back in my career. I hate having my picture taken from the neck down again. I can't sleep. My shoulders have the tracks again. It hurts to be as active as I'd like to be. I am so self conscious of the fact I get to choose "trashy" or "adds 40lbs I can't afford" that I can't even think about my eventual wedding dress.

I was already a JJ before I gained about 70 lbs. I am still a JJ. I have lost about 30 lbs of it in the last year. But I really don't want to feel like a barbie before I try to get another reduction out of fear I'll have the same thing happen.

Kind of a need to try moment.

Anyways. Hello again MakeMeHeal. Sorry for the downer post. I'm... just really conflicted and am reaching out to the internet and others in the same position that might understand it.
Image
30K to hopefully a 30C/D
Total 2540.1 g removed!
http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/view ... bumid=9447
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KattenyaJen
 
Posts: 125
Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2008 5:06 pm
Location: Edmonton



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