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Postby faun » Tue Apr 14, 2009 7:35 pm

nothing is instant! please do keep with it. you have taken so many positive steps in you life journey!!
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Postby Elaine » Tue Apr 14, 2009 10:41 pm

Aloha again.
I think it is important to keep in mind that many of the "issues" you express are simply a matter of a chemical unbalance. There is nothing that you can do when that is the case, except of course to have a really good professional prescribe the chemical(s) that balance out the mis-fire of your own chemical short comings.

That doesn't mean you are crazy or that anything is truly "wrong" with you that you can control. And it certainly is nothing to be ashamed of. One can't control the imbalance of ones own chemicals without the aid of a professional to figure out just what will put you back in balance.

Anxiety is a very real product of chemical unbalance.
It does take a couple of months for your body to asymilate the prescriptions you are given. So don't give up and certainly don't feel as though it is something that you have control of without the chemicals you need to get your system back in balance.

It is truly worth the process. And once you are feeling ever so much better, the professional work with you to see if you need this to function as you want to forever, or if you can slowly decrease and not have to take anything at all one day.

Be happy that we all have these options. Back in the day they just locked one up in a mental facility. Only heaven knows the toture those poor souls were put through. We have choices that they were never given.

You can and will get through this. It just takes time and patience and a positive attitude. Hang in there and keep posting here on this forum. There are a lot of folks here who truly care. Many don't post but do send healing hopeful thoughts your way.

Take care, be patient and keep us posted. So many of us here sincerly want to be your shoulder to lean on. Aloha
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Postby Danman1 » Sat May 23, 2009 11:30 am

Well, I was having a little bit of confidence, until some co-worker said I looked like spoc from Star Trek. Am I THAT ugly? They were trying to say it was a compliment, but obviously it wasn't. Here I thought I was somewhat attractive, but god, now I'm considering extreme plastic surgery!!
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Postby faun » Fri May 29, 2009 6:07 pm

Really - I find that actor extremely attractive - hot actually
have you seen the new star trek movie?
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Postby Danman1 » Mon Jun 01, 2009 12:43 pm

They meant the old one.
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Postby faun » Mon Jun 01, 2009 2:53 pm

I looked at your pictures you do not look like the "old Spock" at all.
you are as far as i can see a very attractive man.

I would not consider extreme plastic surgery because of what some idiot says.

I was told i look like Glen Campbell - when i was 15 - now that is a kick in the pants for a 15 yr old girl.

People say things that can be mean and hurtful - and most times they think they are giving a compliment.

don let this get you down.
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Postby Danman1 » Fri Jun 12, 2009 1:50 am

Hmmm....even my therapist agreed about the (old) Spoc thing, and said I was somewhat nerdy looking. Gee, I deserve so much confidence :P

He seemed to have good intentions, and was clearly being honest.
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Postby faun » Fri Jun 12, 2009 11:32 am

Danman1 wrote:Hmmm....even my therapist agreed about the (old) Spoc thing, and said I was somewhat nerdy looking. Gee, I deserve so much confidence :P

He seemed to have good intentions, and was clearly being honest.


This confused me as attractiveness is a cultural construct so to place a "label" of "nerdy looking" is a value ladled statement. Personally I think you are a very handsome young man - and i don't think nerdy looking.
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Postby Danman1 » Tue Jun 16, 2009 11:39 pm

faun wrote:
Danman1 wrote:Hmmm....even my therapist agreed about the (old) Spoc thing, and said I was somewhat nerdy looking. Gee, I deserve so much confidence :P

He seemed to have good intentions, and was clearly being honest.


This confused me as attractiveness is a cultural construct so to place a "label" of "nerdy looking" is a value ladled statement. Personally I think you are a very handsome young man - and i don't think nerdy looking.
kim


faun,

Thank you I and appreciate your comments. I'll have to ask him during our next appt. what exactly he meant by "nerdy looking."

I dunno--somewhat at work said something today that downed my confidence, bascically there was this girl I liked, but I commented on how some other guy probably liked her (the way he was acting), and this other guy said "I don't think she'd go for any of us." I just really wonder why people say the things that they say, if it is insecurity, or if there is something really wrong with me physically. I know many people in my previous thread assured me there wasn't.

I just don't want to be an "average" person in the dating realm, I know that sounds really immature, but that's how I feel. Discerning the truth is a big problem for me, I wish I knew my true worth.

Anyway, srry for bothering you all with what must seem like a pathetic "attention-seeking" story. There was more to this I wanted to add, but I popped a Klonopin and am getting kinda tired...
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Postby faun » Thu Jun 18, 2009 6:36 am

most people have problems discerning truth especially when there is a gap in "what is said and what is done" (I hope you get that, having problems express myself, :) ) and in truth most people are not able to express themselves.

The guy that made the comment about "I don't think she will go for any of us" was making a general statement. He probably has the same insecurities as you but he is not as self aware or sensitive as you are.
My son is 18 and he is very sensitive to what others think or say about him, he feels more...hard to explain just the way he is. There is nothing pathetic about your story.
take care
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Postby Danman1 » Thu Jun 18, 2009 1:41 pm

faun wrote:most people have problems discerning truth especially when there is a gap in "what is said and what is done" (I hope you get that, having problems express myself, :) ) and in truth most people are not able to express themselves.

The guy that made the comment about "I don't think she will go for any of us" was making a general statement. He probably has the same insecurities as you but he is not as self aware or sensitive as you are.
My son is 18 and he is very sensitive to what others think or say about him, he feels more...hard to explain just the way he is. There is nothing pathetic about your story.
take care
kim


faun,

I think I see what you mean, kinda like "what is said, but what is actually real." Also, I have to ask, what do you mean by "self-aware"? alot of people were trying to call me a little delusional in that other thread.

Anyway, I did kinda like that girl in question, so should I heed his negative words, or ignore them? (she had said she liked me in the past). I mean I couldn't do anything now, but in the future...

Oh, and srry to hear your son suffers from the same problem. Well, gotta cut this short, have to go to work. Thanks again.
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Postby faun » Thu Jun 18, 2009 2:57 pm

you are self aware enough to ask for help, I can not comment really on your body image problems as it is personal/cultural idealogical about beauty etc...

my sons problem is peer pressure and he believes it is more important what others "think" or you then what you "think" of yourself. He judges himself according to whatever social group he is involved with. He has always felt and reacted more than what i would consider "normal" and he uses people around him for his on benefit. I don't know if it is the "same" problem or if it is just being young in a really confusing social atmosphere.

i hope you do ask the girl out once you are ready.
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Postby Danman1 » Sat Jun 20, 2009 7:45 pm

I hope I wasn't insulting you, comparing my problem to your son's.

Anyway, my co-worker called everyone in my dept ugly, (starting with me especially). I just don't know why these instances keep cropping up, unless it were a true thing.
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Postby faun » Sun Jun 21, 2009 9:59 am

no i am not insulted with your comparison, your problem is very similar to my sons.

have you read the book "The secret"
It presents a theory on attraction that i find interesting - you should read it.
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Postby Danman1 » Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:48 pm

No I have not read the book, I might look it up.

I dunno, I think I am going to look into some kind of financing to at least see a PS and see what he recommends.
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