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Depressed :(

Depressed :(

Postby smilebaby123 » Sun Dec 12, 2010 1:07 pm

Sorry I don't have any pics of my nose before any rhinoplasty was done on me.

It has only been 13 days post op, but for some reason, I know my nose isn't going to change for the better although the doctor says otherwise. (Don't they all?) I think "swelling" is too much of an excuse. I can't give myself too much hope anymore, it only leads to more disappointment.

-------------------------------------------
ABOUT ME
I am a woman of part Asian descent born with a very wide Asian nose that lacked some bridge definition. I am in my early 20s and was born with VERY oily skin at the nose (complete with unsightly blackheads so you can imagine how oily it is).

SOME MORE INFO
Throughout my whole life,
my nose was the only feature that honestly really bothered me a lot. I absolutely love my other features. I have been called beautiful and pretty...but I know in their heads they are thinking "well...except the nose". That is what I think as well about my face.

My face fits a delicate, upturned nose because my other features are very feminine, refined, and delicate and a bit more Western (Caucasian)-looking. My nose sticks out like a sore thumb because it is born on the wrong face. :shock:

And with that said, not even all Asian girls have flat, wide, bulbous noses. I see a lot with tiny button noses and those look cute on them. The point is that my nose just does not fit my own face. :?

FIRST RHINOPLASTY
So I got my first rhinoplasty 2 years and 2 months ago. It was a closed rhinoplasty and he just stuck a silicone, L-shaped implant inside. He says narrowing the base nor the nasal is not necessary as the silicone already pushes the nose up like a tent, giving it a more narrow look.

The only thing I liked after the first surgery was the definition at the bridge. And then the silicone shifted over to the right so it made my nose look really flat on that side at 3/4 profile view, while the other side looked really dull and masculine.

I also believe I started feeling the tip kind of "poking out" but not really poking out starting at 2 months after I had the surgery. It stayed like that for 2 years and did not extrude.

THE SECOND RHINOPLASTY
So I have been REALLY desperate to get it revised for a while now. I went to see a rhinoplasty specialist and viewed all his before and after photos...they are absolutely amazing- all of it. I thought mine would be amazing too. :(

He suggested at the first consultation that we should use all cartilage from my ear and scalp. But then right before the surgery, he said "maybe we can keep the silicone implant, but just shave it down a bit and then I'll use some cartilage for the tip." I was reluctant so he proceeded with the original plan.

The thing I remember clearest while in surgery was that I asked "Is it over yet?" a few times. The surgeon said "Do you want a nice nose or not?" I said "yes' and he said "Then let us work." If the results are great, then I wouldn't mind his attitude during surgery. After the surgery, everyone said it went very well. I was glad of that.

So I was put in the nasal splint. I noticed the splint was crooked but didn't say anything because I thought maybe its just swelling or just a deformity in the splint, but not on my nose.

Surprisingly, I had no bruising at all what-so-ever this second time around. I did bruised at the first rhinoplasty. So I thought that no bruising was a sign that it really did go perfectly and I would get the nose I want.

MY SECOND RHINOPLASTY- THE REVEAL
When the splint came off on the 8th day, I thought my nose only looked fairly good. I don't know how to describe it. I was just hoping it would get better. I asked about the unevenness and the surgeon said it will get better over time. I don't know if I should trust him with that. He said that after 1 month, I should be able to see very much of the final results. That frightens me, I am almost at 2 weeks and just have 4 more weeks to go for the 1 month mark.

THE SECOND RHINOPLASTY- DEPRESSION
I noticed that the cartilage at the bridge and top was curved in a hideous way. One of the reasons for revision in the first place was because the silicone implant shifted to the right. Now the cartilage is at the right again, but the tip is curved to the left. Before, the whole thing was shifted to the right. The cartilage at the bridge is soft like rubber while the tip is very hard.

I contacted the plastic surgeon and he said for me to come to the office and he'll check it out. So I did and was ready to prepare for reoperation to reposition it. But instead he told me just to massage it to the direction I want to go until the cartilage settles itself and adheres to my nose. He told me to come back 4 days later so he can see the progress.

I am doing the massage right now and it seems to be helping just a tiny bit. I fear that 1) my nasal bones are originally not symmetrical, 2) Because the silicone implant shifted to the right before, it is adapting to the pattern again 3) It was an error during the operation. But my surgeon seems confident that the massage would work perfectly. :shock:

At 13 days, I feel very very ugly. I used to get really confused when people tell me that
I'm so beautiful all the time even after the 1st rhinoplasty which wasn't even good except for the bridge definition at the top. But I doubt they will say that I'm beautiful anymore. :(

THE SECOND RHINOPLASTY- ALL THE WRONGS
At the front view, my nose is curved and my nasal bones form an odd pyramid shape at the base of my nose which makes it look like an onion. My nose is very round with a fat, wide, huge tip. Profile views also reflect this. I describe my thoughts about my nose more in detail in the photos.

HOW I FEEL
I want to revise immediately and get the pointy tip I want and get back the great bridge definition I had. I don't want to waste any more time and money on this and I am very depressed now. My nose is STILL the only thing that bothers me after spending so much money.

I don't know what I should do at this point. I thought about all the great things I'd be able to do afterwards and how truly beautiful I would look. I gave way too much hope to myself. I have no more hope left.

MY QUESTIONS:
1) What can I do at this point?
2) Is immediate revision possible? Will my health or the results be at risk? I just do not think anything will change for the better.
3) I don't remember my nose refining much after months from the primary rhinoplasty...maybe that is because there was no tip-work done? The doctor just stuck an L-shaped implant in there really. This time I can feel a wide, round piece of cartilage in my nose. I am afraid its TOO wide for my nose because my base was reduced...so it may be out of proportion?
4) What does swelling actually feel like and how to tell if I have it?
5) Does touching your nose too much or applying pressure cause more swelling?

Thanks :)
Last edited by smilebaby123 on Wed Jul 27, 2011 2:11 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby smilebaby123 » Sun Dec 12, 2010 1:10 pm

k
Last edited by smilebaby123 on Wed Jul 27, 2011 2:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby sbsbsbsb » Sun Dec 12, 2010 1:24 pm

Hi - I am so sorry to hear about your dissapointment. You save up money for, and anticipate a surgery, and then to be unhappy is really a let-down. I can only give you 'advice' from what I went through with my first surgeon. My nose looked screwed up from the get-go but I did not go with my gut-feeling and trusted my doctor instead. With my revision, although my nose looked swollen as can be, I could tell it was strait and 'right' from the beginning.

I am no doc, but it seems odd that you as the patient have to do massage and manipulation on your nose. I am sure someone else on the Board here can give you info in regards to this.

No doctor wants a lawsuit and they will typically minimize the issue and tell you it is just swelling, etc., to give it time, blah blah blah. We have a tendency to believe the doctor as they are the professional and that works in their favor. You may need to go to a different doctor for realistic and honest advice for answers to your questions.

Good luck. And, remember whatetever issues you have are only temporary - there is a solution to everything.
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby MikeFoss » Sun Dec 12, 2010 5:28 pm

Hi smilebaby123,

It was just sad to read your story. Unfortunately, these cases happens a lot in rhinoplasty even by some very good plastic surgeons. I also haven't heard of some doctor telling his patients to massage the nose to fix its position (although it might really help!). This is equivalent to admitting one's ignorance and screw-ups! I seriously encourage you to go consult with another good plastic surgeon and ask his opinions about your nose status. I'm not saying to mindlessly go for another revision at his point as this might be a risk to both your health and the healing process. But at least after consultation, you will have an idea what your next plan would be from now on. Keep us posted about your decision and don't worry much. There is nothing in the world that can't be fixed, and that's for real!
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby smilebaby123 » Sun Dec 12, 2010 6:20 pm

My nose looks so round on all levels now...I hope it is just swelling but I doubt it....I look like I stuck a rubber nose on myself..My nose even looks more like it doesn't belong on my face. :(

So...any good surgeons in the bay area that have free consultations?
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby jinglealltheway » Sun Dec 12, 2010 6:27 pm

i stopped reading this thread after "Its only been 13 days postop"

it is foolish for you to make this thread 13 days post-op. you are swollen. wait at least 3 months before making threads like this. My nose looked silly at 13 days post-op. i am 1 month out, and the silliness has diminished. it no longer looks cartoony and fat.

relax.
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby smilebaby123 » Sun Dec 12, 2010 6:51 pm

I think the cartilage he used on my bridge is way too soft and it naturally just curves! The silicone, although it shifted..went to the same side of the nose because it is made straight. I tried massaging it for a long time...while it worked a little on occasion..it goes back to the original position..

Could this mean that the pocket was still created wrong or that my nasal bones were just uneven in the first place?

I hate looking myself in the mirror right now, I feel like a lab experiment gone wrong..but yet, I can't stop looking in the mirror...

I spent most of my money on this surgery and having it botched has so much of a toll on me because I'm young and poor not like a rich celebrity or even a person with a professional job who can afford many revisions.
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby smilebaby123 » Sun Dec 12, 2010 6:53 pm

jinglealltheway wrote:i stopped reading this thread after "Its only been 13 days postop"

it is foolish for you to make this thread 13 days post-op. you are swollen. wait at least 3 months before making threads like this. My nose looked silly at 13 days post-op. i am 1 month out, and the silliness has diminished. it no longer looks cartoony and fat.

relax.


I doubt anyone's cases of "swollen-ness" is as worse as mine then. I have seen photos of swollen noses after rhinoplasty and none of them look as awful as mine :(
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby MikeFoss » Sun Dec 12, 2010 6:59 pm

Hi jinglealltheway,

I agree with you about how the nose might look like in the first few weeks after the surgery because of all the swelling. But one issue about smilebaby123's case is the curvature of her bridge to the right and then a deviation to the left at the tip which kind of looks like a deviated septum to me. I'm not a doctor but I believe what her doctor told her about massaging is related to correcting this curvature. That's why I think you might wanna go see another plastic surgeon although it may not really matter in terms of correcting it as you don't necessarily wanna go under another surgery at this point! But it's good to know what exactly is going on :).
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby jinglealltheway » Sun Dec 12, 2010 7:09 pm

i understand, but this could just be uneven swelling. if it still looks uneven after 2-3 months, then there may be a small problem. but as for now, this could just be uneven swelling.
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby smilebaby123 » Sun Dec 12, 2010 7:56 pm

Has anyone had any cartilage put into their bridge area? Why is the cartilage graft so soft there...I thought the bridge was supposed to be bone. Will it harden over time?

My surgeon did say it will settle gradually in a few weeks but nothing about hardening. So basically...before it settles, I have to try to get it to center myself...I have been massaging it...and the right side of my bridge is really sore....he told me to use a lot of force...so yep...
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby Lynchic » Sun Dec 12, 2010 8:01 pm

smiley.. I see where the problem was after the first surgery, but I agree you are way too early to know this time!!
Check out my swelling.. looked like a banana!
http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/rhin ... ng-p125306

Also, it is possible that swelling itself may be pushing the graft so keep massaging it, but don't jump to conclusions just yet. I already see that the surgery straightened out the tip!
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby Pandora1989 » Sun Dec 12, 2010 8:05 pm

Lynchic is right. You should def wait, but do make research still if you really want that revision. At least if you do so, if the time comes, you will have all the information and you'll be ready to go. Who was your second doc? Was he a diff one than your first? Wait at least 1 year before you make any decisions.

Good luck!
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby smilebaby123 » Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:52 pm

Yes, my second doctor is a different doctor. He does a lot of nose jobs a year and is a specialized in it. Gosh, all the photos on his site are beyond amazing- seriously. And he sounded like he knew what he was doing and is very confident...but I think I look hideous now. :(
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Re: Depressed :(

Postby smilebaby123 » Mon Dec 13, 2010 12:02 am

After looking at the mirror for ages, I also discovered that I now have parrot nose. I think that is another big problem. I don't think I've ever had a parrot nose before. It just like slopes straight down with no curve....I don't really see anyone with that nose....I feel like a freak.
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