LEARN, SHOP & CHAT ABOUT PLASTIC SURGERY, BEAUTY AND ANTI-AGING
You're here: Home > Message Boards > Plastic Surgery > Nose Surgery, Nose Job, Rhinoplasty

Plastic Surgery, Beauty, Skin Care Message Boards & Blogs

Our message boards are for all of us who want to talk, listen, share, and support fellow women and men interested in discussing plastic surgery, beauty treatments, pregnancy, gynecological concerns, aging, and various health conditions. You can read messages without logging in. To post a message, please log in or register. It's free...and being a member gives you access to important information. By using the Message Boards, you agree to the Message Boards Policies.

SUBSCRIBE: Sign up to get newsletter with weekly popular topics discussed on the boards  
 

how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby lacey100 » Mon Oct 29, 2012 11:14 pm

So I had my primary surgery over a decade ago, which resulted in compromised breathing and less than stellar cosmetic results, leading to two revisions. My breathing is still somewhat compromised after the revisions, but definitely better than before. Cosmetically, my nose looks fine, but I don't think it fits my face as well as my birth nose. In fact, I never really disliked my birth nose, but at the time my self-esteem was very low and I felt like I needed to do something to improve myself. It was certainly the worst decision of my life, and I experience the physical and psychological after-effects to this day.

Over a decade later, not a day passes when I don't think of how much I regret that decision, and how much I wish I could undo it all. I realize this is not healthy. I'm spending way too much mental energy on regret, which is a useless sentiment.

For those who can relate: how did you or how are you getting past it? How do you just move on and leave the regret behind? I'm really struggling with it. Thanks for your help.
lacey100
 
Posts: 80
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 12:14 am



Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby sbsbsbsb » Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:57 am

How I personally got past it.... I repeatedly reminded myself that there is nothing at all wrong with self-improvement and it is/was the professional's/doctor's job to evaluate and do what was needed to ve done for a satisfactory outcome, to not blame myself, even if others did (unsupportive family, etc). I found a positive in that I became more accepting and tolerant of others that were less than perfect and i realized there are people in this world that have it so much worse - humbled me. However, my nose was botched pretty bad and I looked like I had been in an accident. I did get it fixed. I hated my first doctor, and despise him even more today - that such a deceptive and manipulative and inept dr should be a representative of the medical community... I work with those less fortunate (animals), and that is rewarding (a community service, giving type thing), for me at least. You can't take back what happened in the past, so you just move forward. Good luck to you!
sbsbsbsb
 
Posts: 885
Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 2:30 pm



Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby lacey100 » Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:53 am

Thanks so much for your input--that is all good advice. I am really trying to focus on the positives, and I should be and am grateful at this point that I have a nose that looks normal and breathes relatively decently. It is kinda crazy to me that I am much more self-conscious of my nose after surgery than I ever was before. And I too harbor resentment for my primary surgeon, who lied to me about the risks of rhinoplasty when I was just a teenager (when I asked him if there was any chance the procedure could affect my breathing, he said there was "no chance"), and then tried to convince me that it was allergies impairing my breathing after surgery when I had no breathing problems before surgery.

But you're right--we can't take the past back, and I'm not sure why I spend time daydreaming that I can. And things could be much, much worse. Getting involved in a community service project is also a great idea--I do sometimes feel that this obsessing about my nose has made me a more selfish person, and turning that energy outward to help others would be a better way to channel it.

Thanks again!
lacey100
 
Posts: 80
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 12:14 am



Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby lolita27 » Tue Oct 30, 2012 10:36 am

I am almost a year out of my rhinoplasty and regret it every single minute of the day. It's true that it is selfish which makes everything worse. I'm not doing the best things to get over the regret, I'm not living my life the way I used to, I'm in a deep depression and don't feel the same way about myself. Everyone says I'm the same person inside, nothing changed inside, it's just the outside. But I feel I have lost something inside too, like my whole spirit for life. I feel so shallow because I think about it and my new nose is not botched at all and I can breathe just fine still. I just absolutely hate looking in the mirror and seeing the difference. I don't really know how to get over something like this. I understand giving to others, that can take your mind off of yourself, but the feelings of regret will always come back. I also believe that if you don't feel good about yourself on the outside, its really hard to he happy and no one wants to be around someone who is insecure. I didn't hate my birth nose either, I just thought I could use an improvement. I am so against plastic surgery now unless you have a major deformity or an obvious flaw, like a huge hook nose. Other than that, we should just leave unique selves alone.
lolita27
 
Posts: 97
Joined: Sun Oct 09, 2011 12:06 pm



Products That Customers Interested in This Topic Are Buying


Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby lacey100 » Tue Oct 30, 2012 11:52 am

Sorry that you are going through this too, lolita27. Hopefully with time we will not be controlled by the regret. And hopefully, there are people on these boards who can learn from our mistakes and think long and hard before going through with this surgery.
lacey100
 
Posts: 80
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 12:14 am



Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby CalvesBrah » Tue Oct 30, 2012 1:07 pm

I over this by trying to live better life than pre-op and trying to acheive goals. Try to gain more friends and workout and get a better body than pre-op. This may help a little. I know that you have zero motivation with all this depression and regret. But just try harder..
I also feel bad everyday and feel disgust and regret ,although my nose not botched.
CalvesBrah
 
Posts: 213
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2011 2:53 am



Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby Evablue » Tue Oct 30, 2012 3:39 pm

Hi Lacey,

I am so sorry you are having regrets still. I empathize so much as I also had my botched primary as a teen for similar reasons. It's hard to know how I would feel had things gone well. I struggle daily with regret, because while I had typical teenage insecurities, I was actually much more confident back then about my looks. I never thought anything was wrong with my nose until a friend started teasing me and then my mom suggested getting it 'fixed.' Every time I see photos from before the surgery I get so down. And I can't help but wonder what my life would look like now had I not gotten the surgery. Unfortunately my revisions have not been positive so I am stuck in even more regret and still looking for another revisionist. I still have this idea that I might be able to get some of my old self back once my nose is fixed. But the real problem is that I don't know that I am more than my looks. I have tried to remind myself that there are so many more who have bigger problems than my nose and that helps. And the days when I am more conscious in thought and notice when I am thinking about my nose I am able to put my attention elsewhere. I have found the saying 'whatever you put your attention on grows' to be very true. Volunteering and being of service to others helps so much too. And being positive can make an impact. I have seen it really turn other lives around. Hope this helps somewhat. -Eva
Evablue
 
Posts: 117
Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2009 10:57 pm



Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby beautyandthebeast » Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:21 pm

Hi everyone,

I completely understand what you are all feeling. It is really hard to live with something that has made you look worse and knowing that you paid for it and choose to do it, makes it all that much more difficult. I work daily with people who have severe disabilities and terminal illnesses, yet I still feel horrible about my nose. In the past I have dealt with scary health issues and was even left with some pretty ugly scars from the treatment (although hidden by clothing) I can actually deal with this better than my rhino results. I am sure the fact that it is not smack in the middle of my face plays a part. However, I also feel it was something that I didn't choose to have.

Intellectually, I know I am very lucky to now have only an ugly nose when I could have much worse health issues. However on the other hand there are others who complain about very transient and superficial things as if they are the end of the world i.e I got a bad haircut, gained 5lbs , have a zit etc. You get my point.
I try to constantly remind myself I am more than just a "nose" and most days it gets me through but other days I just want to break down.
I look like I broke my nose and it healed all funky. One friend of mine said, so say you broke your nose and use it as your "party line" . I think this would be a lot easier to do if I did indeed have an accident and broke my nose, it's a lot harder to swallow knowing I chose the doctor, made major plans and spent lots of dough to look like this.
I do agree looking outside yourself helps, but sometimes it's really really hard. Having a bad rhino is such a let down that is hard to understand unless you've been there.
I hope one day we can all put this behind us either through a successful surgery or full acceptance of how we look now.
xo
beautyandthebeast
 
Posts: 381
Joined: Tue Aug 31, 2010 6:41 pm



Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby Insane01 » Tue Oct 30, 2012 9:58 pm

I had my first surgery 40 years ago, I'm 60 and I still can't look in the mirror, I have had 3 revisions and it still looks horrible, Others have made fun of my nose so I know it's not all in my head,I have been in a Mental hospital 7 times do too how ugly my nose is, they put me in the hospital for attempted suicide, I'am basically a recluse now, I have hated that I had it done!
Pray all the time for God too let me go to sleep and not wake-up, Wish everybody the best [-o<
Insane01
 
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Oct 26, 2012 9:14 pm



Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby CalvesBrah » Wed Oct 31, 2012 1:56 pm

Insane01 wrote:I had my first surgery 40 years ago, I'm 60 and I still can't look in the mirror, I have had 3 revisions and it still looks horrible, Others have made fun of my nose so I know it's not all in my head,I have been in a Mental hospital 7 times do too how ugly my nose is, they put me in the hospital for attempted suicide, I'am basically a recluse now, I have hated that I had it done!
Pray all the time for God too let me go to sleep and not wake-up, Wish everybody the best [-o<


Ouch. Why did 3 revisions fail ? Fail to do what exactly ?
CalvesBrah
 
Posts: 213
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2011 2:53 am



Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby lacey100 » Wed Oct 31, 2012 6:41 pm

I'm so sorry to hear everyone's stories : ( Maybe it's some consolation knowing that we're not alone. And I believe there is hope.
lacey100
 
Posts: 80
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 12:14 am



Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby @chow68 » Sun Sep 14, 2014 3:59 pm

Hi fellow regretters,
I am 2 weeks post-op, and feel so much remorse about what I chose to do and paid to do with my nose job. It's ironic that I traded one minor insecurity for a seemingly bigger one.

Although I was always self-conscious about my birth nose, it never really bothered me that much. I was always able to get opportunities for work, attract women, so it wasn't something that held me back. It allowed me to have a cute smile, and a soft looking face.

After my rhinoplasty, my nose looks so stiff, fake, and pointy. I can't smile properly. It just looks strange and clown like. I miss my face so much, and know there is no turning back the clocks.

For some reason, I have come to this point in my life, and understand that there is a lesson to be learned. To be a better person, by first accepting myself no matter what; loving myself, because without that no one else will; respect myself; and rock my "idealness". Whoever said there was an "ideal nose" was trying to feed a "lie" to society. We don't need things like this. Ideal is what you were born with!

From this I want to be kinder to people, especially my family. I want to have more compassion towards people. I want to not judge people. I want to become more humble.

Most of all, I want to forget about my looks, and focus on my mind. Think positively, become more intelligent, and do good things towards my family and others. Life isn't a playground, it's a place to ...idk!
@chow68
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2014 3:48 pm



Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby t.kong » Sun Sep 14, 2014 10:45 pm

chow its only been 2 weeks... your nose could be extremely swollen depending on what was done... The Dr's don't lie when they say it can take a year for your nose to take its shape\form.. Also the numbness will go down in time as blood vessels/lymphs are reconstructed at the area. The pointy thing may be a problem... or it could be attributed to the two things mentioned above. All those qualities of a human are great and I hope you embrace them. But don't give up on your nose quite yet... It will be a while before you really can identify with and feel that your nose has taken its shape...
t.kong
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2014 11:52 am



Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby Insane01 » Tue Oct 14, 2014 10:01 pm

I just was scrolling thru here and saw I put a post on here when I was 60,well I'm 62 now and still hate my nose, the whole left side has dents and bumps, but now I also fell flat on my face, and have a collapse on the left hand side in the middle, I hope everyone good luck with your revisions, I mentioned before, that there is nothing more that can be done for mine, I thought maybe as I got older I would be able to except this thing that's suppose to be a nose, even if I could have somthing done to improve it, I don't have a penney to my name, so here I'am stuck looking like this, now that I'm 62, I need hip surgery, new teeth, and cataracts removed, life is good???? NO, I don't think so,, :|
Insane01
 
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Oct 26, 2012 9:14 pm



Re: how did you overcome the regret of rhinoplasty?

Postby elisa90 » Wed Oct 15, 2014 6:50 am

I'm so sorry, Insane01. I hope you find some sort of peace. I'm sure you're a beautiful person inside & out despite or in spite of your nose journey. <3
elisa90
 
Posts: 287
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 2:28 pm



Products That Customers Interested in This Topic Are Buying


Next

Return to Nose Surgery, Nose Job, Rhinoplasty

 

Featured Specialists











 
//test