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My boyfriend doesn't really want me to have the surgery...

Postby TummyTuckJourney » Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:48 pm

Oh, Trish just reminded me of something- I bought my husband a used Harley for Christmas right before the tt. A little bribe goes a long way. Perhaps a Harley is in order prior to all plastic surgery proceedures :lol:
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Postby FlaTT » Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:17 pm

You don't sound like you are doing this for silly vanity.
And I haven't read nor seen any woman on this board that has.
We all had our reasons we wanted our TT whether it was having kids or major weightloss.
I think you are like the rest of us - that you know what you have under your skin. We all knew our potential ! And the outside didn't match the inside.
Like you I wanted my TT since the age of 22. This year finally was my dream come true to have the funds put away for it.
If you didn't have a boyfriend right now would you do it still? That might help you answer it in your head.
Whatever you do - don't expect a boy to understand. They just can't. They try... but... well its like us trying to pee standing up. Yes we can do it.. just not good and make a big mess while we're trying.
So the big question for your BF is - you don't have to understand, but will you be there to support me while I have chosen to do something for myself?
And if YOU really want it. go for it you owe it to yourself!!!!!
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Postby LoobyLoo » Sat Jan 13, 2007 5:28 am

FlaTT wrote:If you didn't have a boyfriend right now would you do it still? That might help you answer it in your head.

Everyone has made really helpful comments and it's good to know that so many of you have been in a similar situation - before you had your TTs - as I am in right at this moment!

But FlaTT's question here has just about hit the nail on the head for me - fantastic way of looking at it, FlaTT, thank you! I would be even MORE keen on doing it (if that's possible!) if I didn't have a bf! So that has just about made up my mind, really!

Having a loving partner can be a bit of a security net, can't it? But I want to do this for me, to look and feel better about myself, and not to have to constantly put my arm over my tummy to hide it when I sit down.

Yep. I've made up my mind.

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Postby celenapagan » Sat Jan 13, 2007 8:23 am

Right now I'm going through the same thing! my surgery is on Thursday!! My husband an I been arguing more. He tells me I don't need the surgery I look great the way I am he loves me just like this, but I had gastric bypass 2 1/2 years ago and have been overweight all my life so I never had a flat tummy before. I told him this is for me not for him nor anyone else! I also told my husband we need to stop arguing because right now he needs to show me how much he loves me and for me not to go into surgery mad at him and come out of surgery mad at him! He tells me he's scared something is going to happen to me and he is also worried that this surgery will change me. I am scared alittle because this is the first time ever I will have a flat tummy and don't know what it is to be flat. I think I deserve this I lost over 100lbs and I am also doing a BA because my breast are empty so I'm very excited. I think most men will not admitt it but I think they are very insecure and don't want to admitt it to us but I think deep down inside they actualy think that we will find another man and leave them and this is why they give us a hard time before surgery. I keep telling my husband I'm doing this for me and that when I'm done I want to drive him crazy GOOD LUCK!!!!
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Postby newbod4me » Sat Jan 13, 2007 8:45 am

When I got married, 24 years ago, I was 96 pounds, and my husband was on a mandetory weightloss program in the Air Force (I still can't picture him doing aerobics :wink: )
After the 1st year of our marriage I quit smoking and have had trouble with my weight ever since. I believe I was aproaching 175 lbs at my highest. I'm only 5ft tall.
Anyway, my husband has watched my attempts over the years to maintain the recomended 125 lbs. The one thing that wouldn't go away with the weightloss, were the large boobs and the jiggle belly. Being the wonderful person he is, he loves me no matter what, but he also saw how preoccupied I was with this for so many years. Neither one of us thought I would ever go as far as having surgery but I decided that just with buying a car or a house, I was making an investment in myself to improve myself. (who cares about the house and car :twisted: ) Those are things that come and go but your body is with you forever.
Long story short, it took years to come to the decision to go through with this and it was easier on dh because he was there from the beginning. I believe, part of your bf's struggle is that he doesn't yet understand fully. In the end, I can only add what has been said before. If you do this, you need to do it for you. Your actions after the surgery will determine how the relationship works out. I believe if he sees you are commited to him he will be ok.
Good luck with your decision
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